Mother's Day for Cynics

Yeah, we get it. Mother's Day hyberbole is all about the Benjamins.



And I'm not talking about my favorite male name in the whole world (which explains my son's name). It's about how a lovely little holiday with a charming history (I'm not giving the lesson here folks) that has been subverted, corrupted and sabotagued by the typical American Dream Merchants.



We're talking the Big Box stores, which imports most everything from China and its sweatshops, and the local florist, candy store, ad nauseum. Don't get me started on those annoying television commercials or ads in magazines trying to part you from your hard-earned dough for some bauble that you'll wear once. Twice, tops.



What once was a private way to celebrate our wonderful mothers and express our devoted appreciation for all their hard work, yadda yadda, has now become a blatant come-on thanks to mass media, to see who can spend the most money on ridiculous, unwanted things. But my husband will Never Ever buy me another:

crockpot
hooker dress (he swears it was "classy" I swear plush purple velvet is a hooker dress.
facial hair remover
toe nail clipper

Whew. That was hard to confess. And those were the good years.

I have gotten my share of beautiful baubles that are nicely wrapped and hidden away (hidden so well I don't remember where they are, but don't tell him). But seriously folks, how many necklaces do you need? Or even care about? I know I'm in the minority here (story of my life) but I am not a jewelry-drooler or phony-sentiment gatherer.



I'm more a hand-created (when kids are little, natch) or something uniquely special, kind of person. I want to see some effort there, kids! No store bought cards that cost $17 and sings an obnoxious song.



Mother's Day should be EVERYDAY anyway. What's this "You get one day and that's it, m'am" deal? I didn't sign up for that. I want undying recognition, constant adulation and appreciation.



Good luck with that, right?

But, if you've trained, er, helped shape your spouse and kids into learning a little something about what you'd really like, then the material stresses of The Day should be lessened.



Not so easy when you're starting out and trying to Do The Right Thing By Mom. Your Mom. His Mom. The other stand-in Mons in your life.

And you. You're the mom here, too. Unless you're not. But you may be a stand-in Mom for someone, and this would apply--no problem.



My sage advice?

No brainer. Get a spa certificate (do your homework first!) making sure you cover all the bases that need covering. Drop the hints. Talk about how much better it is to get a pedicure than manicure. You know how to play this one.



And while you're at it, check out this non-cheesy, fun website run by moms who have way too much stuff to do at home and at work but still manage to vent, share and offer some cool advice and witticisms.

It's: http://www.typeamom.net/

For busy, busy moms. (Like there's any other kind.)

So this is a quickie reminder for all those out there who forgot to drop ENOUGH hints for the coming weekend. If money must be exchanged, have your special unit members fork it over and then force them to create something! As a family! Without you!

And while you're at the spa, they'll be fixing some wonderful you-selected dinner. NOT in a restaurant. Only first-timers fall for that.

And then, while they're admiring your facial, pedicure and whatever else you desired, think about next Mother's Day. Which is the day after, natch. "Cuz everyday is.....now you got it.

And don't forget to check out www.typeamom.net. Ask for Kelby. Tell them Naomi sent you.

Happy Everyday!