Spa Life Rocks

I know, stupid headline. But I just like seeing the word "spa" because it brings me peace. And I'm learning how to do cool things like "indent" and "change fonts" and webby things I have no business dealing with.

And please ignore the picture of me. Because my designer (cough, cough) was sent the wrong photo, and it should SOON BE REPLACED by a much better one. And when it's up, I'll tell you all about that adventure in a Caribbean villa.

Isn't it weird how many women still don't feel comfortable enough with their own bodies to have a massage? Maybe you, too. But once you realize that you're ALWAYS properly covered so your personal areas won't be seen, you'll be able to relax. And since the spa industry is growing like the weeds in my so-called "back yard" you have no excuse not to indulge yourself. Most spas have decent locker rooms (a little junior high-ish, but come on, we've seen it before) where you strip. Or you can strip in the bathroom or private stalls. Most spas get it. That some of us are a tad inhibited about our bodies.

After all, didn't we all grow up on magazines with toothpick models with no hint of cellulite? Of course that's a factor. But we also must remember that NO ONE has a perfect body, there's simply no such thing. Those wacked out Hollywood starlets are all anorexic, probably use drugs up the wazoo and never eat. And they end up looking like 12-year-old boys. This is what we want for our daughters? Hell no! So, be proud of your saddlebags, cellulite and belly rolls. Sure beats the alternative.

Admittedly, I was shy the first time I had a massage, because I was an adult and had no reference point. But I pretended I didn't care, and you know what? It worked! I ended up not caring because the massage was so relaxing. Now, be warned, not all massages are created equal. Some "body treatments" just rub me the wrong way, so to speak. Especially the scrub things. They always make me feel like an infant on a changing table.

I don't want a stranger loofa-ing my butt or any other extremity. It's just a little degrading somehow. Other people LOVE scrubs. Me, I'll pass. Had enough of them to know I don't like them. And if you have ANY sense of unease in crowded spaces, please re-think EVER getting a body wrap. My first one was okay, although the seaweed made my skin break out in a rash. You're not supposed to shave your legs before this. Who knew? No one told me and I was too dumb to bring it up.

So that wasn't the greatest, although while wrapped up (pre-rash) the seaweed made these cool popping sounds, like those bubble-wrap things (I love bubble-wrap). So I was amused. Until the stuff was peeled off me and I looked like a deep fried tomato. Not a good look for me.

And then there's the time I was in a Boston spa (I'll be nice and not name it although it starts with the letter "G") and the therapist wrapped me up real good and took off! That's a big no-no, I know realize. Therapists should always be in the room with you unless they specifically tell you they need something and will be right back. This one merely said, "You'll be fine and I'll be back in 20 minutes." And off she went, before I could object.

That was the day I realized claustrophobia was another adjective I could use to describe myself. I felt like a mummy, or a mental patient ready for electric shock treatment. Not a warm and fuzzy feeling. So I broke out. Literally, I somehow managed to get my very-tightly-wrapped arms out and broke free! I have not had a body wrap since.

And I didn't write such a nice review of the spa, either. Hey, truth is truth. Don't leave your client and make sure she isn't too tightly wound, so to speak.

And it was a day spa, something I'm not crazy about. They are rarely terrific. This is my experience, I'm sure some are lovely and wonderful, yadda yadda. So far I've only been to two that I would recommend. One was in Portland, Oregon and was simply delightful and gorgeous. In a big loft-area. I think it's moved but it's still around: Aequis Spa

Even the website is relaxing. I remember a very dimly lit, seductive space (not in a bad way) that was just beautiful. And some lovely young girl doing this foot bath ritual before my massage. It's just something they do! And man, that was fantastic. So, if you're ever in Portland, you have to check it out. If anything, it's probably even better now.

Another amazing day spa is in Vancouver and offered incredible facials without all the frou-frou and fancy-dancy spa distractions like waterfalls and sleepy flute music playing in the background. Sometimes annoyingly so. This one is in a cool neighborhood, too and is called Skoah.